ScoutScout was passing, my world fell down. He panted in urgent care. Clouds shattered. I panted back home. Lay awake sighing. Night escaped. Laughs crumbled. Never to laugh again.

Pillow swam tears.

Pure white boy! My brother, my hope. Connection to my future past! Patron Saint, Peace prince. Only one who “knew” me. His giant joy, endless nobility! Lost to burial ash dawn.

He’s to be gone!

My colors forever black. Dances done. No walks Scout! No jumps together. No sleep-overs in bed, arm in arm, one eye closed. Waking up snoring, blaming each the other! No howls together under mad moon, paging antiquity. No face-licks of crystal love.

Pure joy done!

My knees buckled, fell down, no-legged man, elbows-ground. “Scout! My Scout!” Endless spasms, curling squeals!

Reduced to a man without love!

Called God. Line was busy…

Friend spelled “ViaGen”…to me.

Went to Scout that a.m. Thick mattress. IV-lines palliative. But those eyes: “Noli-Timeri!” Smiling. I cried, lay beside. He opened his mouth, I breathed in. Put my own breath in Scout. For eternity and sealed.

Now I gasp every day, til Scout returns. No choice but to breathe from Scout again…Regain my giant happiness lost.

My universe!